It’s weird to think about how your birth is a fixed point in time but your death is constantly moving based on the decisions you make. The length of your life is always fluctuating.
IM A TEENAGER I WANNA BE DANGEROUS I WANNA DO SOMETHING CRAZY I WANNA GO STEAL A TRAFFIC LIGHT
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT TRAFFIC LIGHTS WERE A LOT SMALLER
YOU THINK THAT’S BIG?? CHECK OUT THIS STOP SIGN I JUST GRABBED
STOP STEALING ROAD NAVIGATIONAL ESSENTIALS.
Wait… Nemo in latin means nobody… So the real title of Finding Nemo is Finding Nobody… So that means Nemo wasn’t even real but a part of Marlin’s imagination. He just unintentionally made up Nemo so he could cope with the loss of his wife and his almost children.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
WHEN CHARACTERS WAKE UP IN A HOSPITAL BED AND THEN PROCEED TO RIP OUT THEIR IVS
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him